Anchors Away
by PhantasmFlash
Summary: Nu is here to deliver all of your needs when it comes to stories in your beloved city of Kagutsuchi. Come tune in to find out what Nu has in store for you today!


**Anchors Away**

"Nu is ready. Yes. Nu will make sure to say all of it." Said Nu. She stacked her papers on the desk and cleared her throat. She looked forward at the screen that started scrolling words.

"Good Morning, City of Kagutsuchi. This is Nu with the Infinity Edge News Network or the IENN on your local network. Nu hopes all of you are having a great day so far, so let's get started with some local events that have taken place recently." She said with a professional tone.

She flicked a button under her desk and a screen appeared behind her. On this screen was a man in a black suit and a smirk on his face.

"Hazama, can you tell Nu and everyone else what seems to be happening where you are at right now?" Nu said into a small microphone. The man on the screen sneered.

"Of course, Madam Nu. We seem to have a situation here with what seems to be a cat girl in a hoodie ransacking a restaurant. I would join her but I am afraid this is my new suit. I do love Chinese food and I do believe if the manager manages to catch this cat girl, there will be quite the delicious treat on the menu by the end of the day. This is the reason I am sticking around." The man cackled. In the background you could see what looked like a girl in a big, tan hoodie eating everything she could get her hands on.

Nu had a small sweatdrop appear on her head as she shut the monitor off.

"Well, there is something Nu can agree with Hazama. Nu does love Chinese food." She said with a slight bit of drool forming. She had not eaten and was quite hungry.

"Now, onto the next story. Let's see what else we have going on in this wonderful city. She heard a few snickers come from the camera man. She pressed a switch and all that was heard was screaming and a splash where a trapdoor had just opened. Another man came and took his place, but not before going wide-eyed at what just happened.

Nu pressed another switch and another screen turned on behind her. This time, a girl with short, brown hair and dressed in what looked like a skimpy business suit and a tail came up on screen.

" Now, as Nu was saying, hello Makoto. How are things going on your end? What story do you have for us today? Nu hopes it is something exciting." She said into the microphone. Makoto perked her ears and pointed behind her to what appeared to be a scruffy man getting beaten up by a bunch of children.

"Oh, do I have something good for everyone out there today. It seems that this man, who is a self proclaimed warrior of justice, was trying to help a little girl from being bullied from these boys who are pounding him. The real story, however, is that the kids were just playing Heroes and Villains. Now we all get to watch as he is getting mercilessly pummeled by a group of eight year olds. I am going to make sure this is put on NuTube later." Makoto said barely able to contain her laughter.

"I, BANG SHISHIGAMI, AM A WARRIOR OF JUSTICE! I SHALL ACCEPT THIS PUNISHMENT AS A MAN OF HONOR AND FORTITUDE! REMEMBER ME AS I AM! A MAN WITH HONOR, MORALS, AND ABOVE ALL ELSE, POISE!" The man screamed to the heavens as he fell unconscious. Before Nu turned off this monitor, she saw Makoto fall on the ground unable to keep the laughter in any longer.

"Nu is sorry about that everyone. Today seems to be a slow news day for all of this to be considered worthy of your time and attention." She said. A man came up and whispered something in her ear and she got a surprised look on her face.

"It seems that we have a worthy story after all. Nu has just been informed that someone is trying to break into the studio. Nu believes she can hear the commotion getting closer and closer. Who could be doing this? You will find out after a word from our sponsors!" She said with a wink.

* * *

"**This newscast is brought to you by Kokonoe's instant growth formula. Just sprinkle it on the part of you that you want to grow, or ingest for entire bodily growth. Side effects may include **

**Nausea, **

**Headaches, **

**Sociopathic Tendencies,**

**Arakune Speech Impediment number 4.6,**

**Sorrow for everything you are involved in,**

**and revealing of dastardly plots to control the world.**

**Now back to your regular broadcast."**

* * *

"Thank you. Now, as you can see, a man dressed in what seems to be full white body armor has successfully incapacitated the entire crew in this news studio. Nu is now the only one left staring into the faceless void of his mask. What will Nu do you ask? Maybe scream like a little girl. Who Knows?" Nu said with a more perky voice than should be allowed in the current situation. The armored man started to speak as he pointed in her direction.

"Girl, I have come to put an end to your news tyranny. I am sick of you spreading worthless news to the public when there is much bigger things going on. I have seen a kitty stuck in a tree for over a week now and you have done NOTHING to report that. That is enough to threaten the very balance of this world and I shall see to it that the kitty is reported and saved." The man said threateningly.

Nu looked at him without flinching. What could she possibly do against this sort of power?

"Sir, Nu assures you, She only puts up the most noteworthy of stories. Now would you be so kind as to stand right there for Nu?" She said pointing to a square outlined on the floor. The man looked and laughed.

"Ha, if you think I am going to fall for that, you are sadly mistaken! Now, prepare to face my wrath and the kitty shall be saved!" The man said. Nu shrugged and pressed a button. A trap door opened above his head and down fell a giant golden washtub which struck the man. He fell down unconscious and Nu just giggled.

"Nu warned him. She told him to move, but he found out that those who don't listen to Nu get hurt." She said. She stood up and took a bow.

"This has been Nu at the IENN. Nu hopes you all have enjoyed this session and have a great day! Nu will be back at seven tonight for the next session. See you then! Nu signing off!" She said as she posed. She walked out of the studio leaving all of the men in there unconscious and moaning. She would be back later to whip them into shape.

* * *

**END**

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**

**Another random Nu ONE-SHOT. The Nu streak continues lol. Let me know what you think. R&R and if you haven't take a look at my other stories.**

**-Echoesofmercy**


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